We all experience the world differently. Why it’s important to me to learn your world.

It seems like a pretty obvious thing to say doesn’t it?  We all experience the world differently. To some this is mind-blowing. For me my pinnacle moment in this was realising other people don't have a tiny narrator in their head telling them what to do before they do it, but apparently its a thing haha. Why is this important to me as a Somatic trauma therapist?

We all live in a body that has senses in some way but these senses can differ wildly from person to person. When we bring in the fact there is such a thing, because of Capitalism may I add, as ‘Neurotypical’, when those senses differ, as in someone who is ‘Neuro Diverse’ the world we live in is not built for us. Now by no means am I saying there isn’t such a thing as Neurotypical because by doing that would diminish the lived experience of anyone who falls out-with the neurotypical scale… Us Neurry D’s, so for arguments sake we will use those terms. I believe it is so much more complex and there is so much discussion to be had around it, especially when the world is built as it, for the neurotypical, how exhausting it is living in it when you don’t fall within this scale. The world as it is can be noisy, bright and very overwhelming for some people, but because of the need to have a job to live in this world, a-lot of people are ignoring their body signals and pushing what the boundaries of comfort are to them to get by. Leading to anxiety,  burnout and more. A doctor or medical professional may help by giving you ways to manage your mental health or ‘self care tips’ to follow, sometimes even medication to help and send you back out into the world. For some these medication are a lifesaver and they wouldn’t be able to function without them, but what is functioning in a world when the goal is to get you back to work, to get you back to life, back to living in what we accept as they way things should be… the normal…the neurotypical world.

You may be thinking what does this have to do with trauma therapy or somatic work? It has everything to do with it, because the ‘normal’ world is traumatic everyday for people with sensory issues being told there is something wrong with them. For people who the 9-5 working day and the 5 day working week wreaks havoc with their body. Which is a lot more people than you'd imagine because or nervous systems were not built for this. There is nothing wrong with them, it's the modern world. It can be so helpful to hear this, for someone to acknowledge that this world, for you, isn't a fun place to experience sometimes.  Especially when you have been through the mill in the medical world being told this is how you should be, should act, should feel when you know that doesn't sit right with your body. So why does this relate to Somatic Therapy and how can Somatic Therapy benefit you?

Let's get to the point of this rant…As a Somatic Therapist I get asked often what happens in a somatic session, my answer is always it differs wildly. It’ s not that I’m trying to be mysterious or gate-keep what goes on but sessions differ from person to person as much as people differ. I’ve personally had a Somatic Trauma Session where I kept visualising rabbits and seeing images of rabbits? What does that even mean? To me a rabbit would have represented something, This is why it's hard to explain sessions. As a Somatic Therapist first and foremost I want to learn how the world is for you, how you experience the world. What senses to you are stronger than others? What senses do you trust in? What does the word senses even mean to you? Because there is absolutely no point in trying to treat a body that I don't know how it experiences itself and relates to the environment it lives in. Yes, I am qualified and trained in STT which has a somewhat structure to it, because if it didn't then we’d get nowhere with processing trauma, the somatic system in everyone works similarly, its build for survival but what we experience as trauma is different. We all need somewhere to start from and as a child when we are born into the world as a vulnerable baby with a fresh nervous system… although I’m aware of the generational/historical and ancestral trauma passed down through our epigenetic but thats a whole other conversation… how we experience the world moulds our nervous system and therefore our life. For some people ‘to feel’ what is going on internally or externally is not available for many reasons. This could be due to how you connect to your body and how your brain is wired but it can also be due to the body experiencing trauma, disconnection can be a way to survive. There is a controversial opinion in the trauma world wether neurodiversity is in fact a result of early trauma, trauma in the womb or intergenerational trauma passed down, but as a neurodiverse person who has myself went under at least a years work of trauma work this opinion doesn’t align with my lived experience and I can assure you a-lot of neurodiverse people will agree, at the very least it is unhelpful to hear, it can feel dismissive and ableist to someones lived experience and enforce belief that there is a default ‘normal’ body. What I will agree with is a-lot of neurodiverse traits overlap trauma responses and that is something I can vouch for, partaking in Somatic Trauma Therapy helps you to recognise what is the trauma and what is just uniquely you.  

How can this help you? By a therapist learning how you experience the world and your own body the therapy can be adapted to suit your needs and your personal trauma processing methods. Without all the usual text book jargon, and sessions being solely focused on how you experience the world rather than being told how you should be experiencing it, therapy can be so validating and liberating. This may sound so simple. I’m not saying in anyway that people are doing it wrong, this is to make anyone wanting to partake in therapy sessions with myself understand whats important to me as a therapist and why I will ask certain questions and encourage people to share vocally about themselves even though STT is a body focused therapy. It is why I have different ways of working with people wether that be though touch therapy massage, Myofascial release, Myofascial Cupping, Somatic trauma therapy and soon Spinal Flow technique…because every body needs to be treated as unique as it is. What is right for some isn’t right for others. Celebrating difference and bringing that into the therapy room with curiosity is as important to me as the skills and abilities to support trauma processing. To feel seen as you are without someone telling you you need to be fixed can be therapy in itself. In a world where we are pushed to fit the status quo for the world to work, which is entirely untrue, we are pushed to fit the boxes to support capitalism, knowing this can be life changing. 

I will always welcome the weird, the too crazy to speak thoughts,  the unusual sensations, the speaking your truth in my therapy room because that is where your personal healing will start. I welcome and want to learn your lived experience so we can work together to make your life enjoyable. When you stop fighting who you are in this world and living aligned to how your body experiences it then we are cooking with fire. 

I hope in reading this it helps you understand my goal as a therapist and explains a little about my work. I hope it resonates with someone who has been through it with the therapy world and was made to feel it was them that was broken or that they are something to fix. 

Thanks for reading. Leave comments below how you feel about this or any questions you have. 

Nik x